Forgive and Forget?
by almostnormal94
Summary: Heather was known as the villian on TDI, but a year with karma biting her in the booty has left her regretting her choices. When a letter from our favorite host arrives she will go back to the place that made her famous. first story! T for language :
1. Before It All

Disclaimer: I dont own TDI or the song...sadly:(

Chapter 1

I, Heather Hawkins, am a normal girl. Well, by normal you mean being the most hated 16-year-old girl in Canada and America then yes, I am normal.

It all started on an international television show called Total Drama Island. I was stereotyped as the "queen bee", which of course I _was _at my old school but once TDI came out everybody started calling me "belly-button jelly licker", "baldy" and "queen bitch". The kids at school would mess with my hair to see if it was a wig. When I would first go to school it would come off and everybody would call me those wonderful nicknames I mentioned, but once my hair grew back to a short bob they would just pull on it, causing massive, annoying headaches. My family was no help; they would just say it was karma and that I shouldn't have done those things to those people. So they sent me to a therapist because of me crying myself to sleep every night (they said it was getting annoying). My therapist, Dr. Lynn, was the only person I had ever gotten so close to. She resolved my feelings about the past, like how I was fat and ugly and pimply, she brought in my family and we did a little family counseling and my family actually listened. She even made Lindsay come in and I apologized to her.

Flashback

"_Hello Heather!" Dr. Lynn said with a smile as I walked in her office. "It's nice to see you again."_

"_So what are we talking about today, Doc?" I asked, as she was looking over her notes. "Well in our last session you admitted that if she would listen you would apologize to Lindsay."_

"_Yeah, so what's your point?" I said. Just then a bubbly voice rang out,"Dr. Quinn! Dr. Quinn! Can I come out of this closet now? No one can see me!" Oh crap, I thought, I had not prepared for this. "Yes you may Lindsay," Dr. Lynn said politely, she must have remembered that I said Lindsay was a tad bit forgetful. A blonde beauty stepped out of the closet, she noticed me sitting on the green chair, and a look of rage crossed her face "YOU!" she exclaimed while pointing her finger accusingly, "YOU BACKSTABBING, HO-BAG, BITCH! WHY ARE YOU HERE?!" Just then Dr. Lynn calmly said "Heather has something to say to you." She gestured over to me and gave me an encouraging smile. I looked down, as I felt tears form in my brown eyes. "I-I-I just w-wanted to say I am s-s-sorry for using you on th-the island and e-everything else that I made you do." Then I couldn't take it anymore and I started to burst out in tears and I kept mumbling "sorry" over and over again. Lindsay looked at me then at Dr. Lynn seeming a little surprised. "Heather, are you saying this truthfully?" Lindsay asked. "Y-yes" I said while trying to stop my crying. Lindsay sat there for a minute or two staring at me. "If you are telling me the truth than I forgive you." I looked up at her seeing her smile and I started to smile and gave her a hug. "Thank you" I whispered to her._

End Flashback

It turned out Lindsay lived only an hour away from me, and we started to build a friendly relationship. I'm not sure she still trusts me but we're friends and I'm happy now.

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One day, I came home from the hell hole they call school and found a letter waiting for me on the kitchen counter. I saw the returning address and eagerly opened it.

_Dear Miss Hawkins,_

_Total Drama Creation Studios is pleased to inform you that you and the rest of the cast of Total Drama Island are to return to play in a new season of Total Drama Island! It will be at the same place but Mr. McClean will make it more 'interesting' this time around._

"Oh no," I whispered, imagining all the horrors Chris would think up in his twisted little mind.

_On June 1__st__ you will report to Canadian Airlines Airport with Miss Wilson __**(A/N: Lindsay) **__and your travel will be paid for by TDCS. If you don't show up you will be forcefully taken due to your contract that you signed in the first season. We hope you show up on June 1__st__._

_Sincerely,_

_Joseph Jennings, producer of TDI_

Once I had finished the letter I smiled and picked up my iPhone. I quickly dialed Lindsay's number and waited while it rang. "Hey Heather!" a high-pitched voice said over the phone. "Hey girl, did you get your letter?" I said excitedly.

"Yes, I did!"

"Yay! I'm so excited for a new season." I exclaimed, "We need to meet up and plan out what we're going to pack!"

"Totally! Come over right now!" she said. "Ok I'll be there in an hour" I replied and hung up the phone.

The weeks passed by and June 1st had finally come. I had packed everything and talked to Dr. Lynn on how I should talk to people. She had suggested that I should make a group apology and then make private apologies to the people I had hurt. I couldn't wait till I could make my apologies and turn over a new leaf. Lindsay and I decided to ride together but we had to take three cars because of our entire luggage combined. Once we got on the airplane, I stuck my iPod in my ears and let the music take control.

_I hate the world today  
You're so good to me  
I know but I can't change  
Tried to tell you  
But you look at me like maybe  
I'm an angel underneath  
Innocent and sweet  
Yesterday I cried  
Must have been relieved to see  
The softer side  
I can understand how you'd be so confused  
I don't envy you  
I'm a little bit of everything  
All rolled into one  
_

_Chorus:  
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover  
I'm a child, I'm a mother  
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint  
I do not feel ashamed  
I'm your hell, I'm your dream  
I'm nothing in between  
You know you wouldn't want it any other way_

So take me as I am  
This may mean  
You'll have to be a stronger man  
Rest assured that  
When I start to make you nervous  
And I'm going to extremes  
Tomorrow I will change  
And today won't mean a thing

Chorus

Just when you think, you got me figured out  
The season's already changing  
I think it's cool, you do what you do  
And don't try to save me

Chorus

I'm a bitch, I'm a tease  
I'm a goddess on my knees  
When you hurt, when you suffer  
I'm your angel undercover  
I've been numb, I'm revived  
Can't say I'm not alive  
You know I wouldn't want it any other way

Once the song had finished, I started to think about how a year ago that was my favorite song but now it felt wrong to me. I'm not a bitch anymore; I'm a different person now with different feelings. When I had finished with my contemplating, I quickly put my iPod away and started to talk to Lindsay. We chatted for the rest of the trip, she told me how she and Taylor were going to get back together, and I quickly told her it was Tyler so she wouldn't embarrass herself. We landed and we got into a limo and they took us to this dock were we got onto separate boats. I got onto the same boats they used last year. The boat was sailing for about 30 minutes when I could see the Dock of Shame. There it is, I thought to myself, your time to shine. The boat stopped and I stepped off.

A/N: yay! first story! Party!!!! anyway i would love some criticsim(sp?)


	2. We Have arrived to the Beginning

Day 1 part 1: We have arrived to the beginning.

Disclaimer: I don't own TDI if I did it would be chaos!

**Regular POV**

"Hello, everybody! McLean here, bringing you another season of TDI! The campers' from season one will be competing all summer long for a new prize of 200,000! Plus, Chef and I have cooked up some challenges that will be even more awesome to watch the campers endure! Will old alliances and flames be reunited? Will new alliances be made? Will they ever let me have my own hair and makeup trailer?" Chris paused and coughed while looking pointedly at the camera, "Let's find out on the new season of TOTAL...

DRAMA...

ISLAND!"

(Theme music)

"Welcome back! Our first camper is just arriving and it's the musician man himself, Trent! Welcome back, bro!" Chris said greeting the brunette. "Glad to be back…kind of," replied Trent. Chris ignored that last part of the conversation "And here comes the 2nd person to arrive. Hello Eva!" Once the angry girl stepped on the dock, there was lightening in the background and she had a horrific snarl on her face. "Wow," Chris said half afraid and half impressed by the special effects that the interns managed to do. There was about two minutes that Trent and Chris just stared in horror at Eva; it appeared that she had gotten even stronger over the year.

"O-okay, next camper!" Chris said trying to regain his cool. Over the next 40 minutes, chaos had ensued. Tyler, Bridgette, Duncan, Geoff, Katie and Sadie, Ezekiel, Cody, Harold, Justin and Noah had arrived appearing that they had not changed one bit from the previous summer. Geoff and Bridgette were wildly making out, Katie and Sadie, both were squealing over Justin, Eva was slapping Ezekiel around because he said she should become housewife and Tyler had already fallen off the dock twice. Just when Gwen arrived, everybody had finally stopped talking to each other and most of their mouths had hit the dock. Gwen's natural blonde hair had grown out, her normal goth attire was change to that of a navy skirt, a green shirt and brown flip flops, she had gotten tanner and was smiling uber big without her signature blue lipstick. "Hey guys!" she said with a giggle. Trent, who had not seen her in person since the summer before, had a shocked look on his face, "Gwen?!" he exclaimed, "what happened to you?!"

"I thought it was time for a new look! What do you think?" she did a twirl and smiled seductively. "I like it!" Chris said a little too enthusiastically. Trent growled at the sadistic host and put his arm protectively around the new Gwen. "Well, if you like the new you," he said with a shrug, "then I guess it's awesome." Gwen beamed and walked over to Bridgette. Beth and Courtney arrived next, Duncan tried to kiss the CIT but she pushed him off the dock. "Someone forgot to take their Midol this morning," Duncan grumbled as he tried to pull himself on the deck. Courtney heard that and pushed him off again. "Touchy, aren't we?"

"Duncan, if you must know I have a boyfriend now and I'd appreciate it, if you wouldn't hit on me," Courtney stated.

"So who is the loser I have to kill?!" Duncan asked angrily.

"One: he is not a loser! And two: his name is Bryan and he is the most insightful, intelligent and loving human being that I've ever meet!

"Okay Princess, if that's what you want," smirked Duncan

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**Confession Cam**

Duncan: (with the same smirk) "She wants me".

Trent: I am not digging Gwen's new look! She looks like all the other girls!

Courtney: Duncan needs to grow up! His immaturity is the reason I am dating someone else! (Keeps ranting like this for five minutes)

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"And here comes our favorite brick house!" said Chris with a smirk. DJ stepped of the boat with no smile, no greetings, and, shockingly, no Bunny. "Dude, where's Bunny?" Geoff asked finally pulling away from his long make out session with Bridgette. "I got rid of that annoying rat," DJ said harshly. The campers just stood shocked, where had their loveable muscle man gone to?

"Okay…" Chris said in the same state as his victims.

Owen and Izzy were next and as soon as the saw each other they started to make out while rolling on the ground. "Hey, to you to Izzy," Chris said disgruntled from receiving no attention for almost five minutes.

"Oh hey, Chris! Guess what? The RCMP has forgiven me! Well, kind of..." Izzy shouted out while that signature smile of hers was planted on her face. Chris decided it would just be best if he just backed away slowly.

Just then you heard a Lil' Wayne song and then you could see a bootylicious sister in the next boat. "Hey ya'll! Your one and only sexy LeShawna is back!" she said. "Hey, Harold baby! Ooohh my girl, Gwen, has a new look!" she said earning a few smiles from her fellow campers.

"Glad to see you again, LeShawna!" Chris said

"Same here…NOT!" laughter had erupted and everybody greeted their favorite ghetto girl. Chris coughed and announced "Everyone welcome, Lindsay!" there were some groans, there were some squeals, and there were even some friendly smiles. "Hey Guys! I've gotten smarter! And I kind of remember some your names now! But who is the new girl? I love your hair!" she was squealing excitedly. Gwen rolled her eyes at the last comment. Trent smiled, he was glad to see the old Gwen for a little while. Lindsay then stepped off the boat and earned a few lust filled glances from the single men on the island "Oh! And guess what?! Heather is nice now!" Everyone started to bust out laughing. The dim girl who was obliviously frustrated shouted "No, I'm serious!"

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**Confession Cam**

Gwen: (laughing hysterically) Oh Lindsay… YOU HONESTLY BELIVE THAT?!

Duncan: Queenie, nice? Here's what I have to say to that…HAHAHAHAHAHA!

LeShawna: (shaking her head) Girlfriend must have gone nuts over the summer…

Beth: …or Heather must have manipulated her again…

Trent: …because there is no way Heather is nice…

Cody: …unless Lindsay is telling the truth then…

All the campers including Chris: IT'S THE SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE RUN FOR YOU LIVES!!!!!

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Tyler piped in, "Baby, I think you're confused,"

"See for yourself!" she gestured over to the final boat. Everybody knew who was in the next boat and they all put on their best glares so they would be prepared for the queen bee. Heather stepped out of the boat with the same clothes she had on last year, she had a short bob, and a smile that reached to her eyes. "Hey guys, great to be back!" she said in a friendly voice. The campers were still glaring at her, so she decided it was the best time to apologize. "Okay, this is hard for me but here it goes. I'm sorry for all the hurt I caused all of you over the last summer and I don't expect you to forgive me right away but I'd like it if you did." She finished with another smile. There was a long silence. Gwen finally said, "Yeah, like we're going to believe that piece of crap." Heather just shrugged and walked over to Lindsay who had Tyler's arm around her.

**Heather's POV**

I had to admit that I did expect the other campers wouldn't accept my apology at first, but what I didn't expect was Gwen's new look. That was a shocker; I didn't think freaky Goth girl would change her look. Oh crap, that was mean! Remember your nice now, not mean!! Changing your attitude can be hard work.

Chris had started to talk about how this new season would be better, blah blah blah, same teams. Yes! It would give me time to talk with my teammates. I looked around and saw Justin smiling at me. I smiled back but that smile was so familiar to me…

_Flashback_

"_Attention all current 8__th__ graders, the end of school dance will be held tonight in the gym, at 7:00," announced the intercom._

"_Get out of my way losers!" shouted a heinous voice, "Your queen has arrived."_

"_Hello Ashlee! You look so cute! I love the shoes!" said the lowly wannabe hoping for some attention from the most popular girl in school. "Oh Heather, maybe when you lose some weight, get that metal off your teeth and figure out that thing you call a face, you can be as cute as me!" Ashlee said with a smug look. I wish, I thought, but my mom said I could go to fat camp this next summer and I get my braces off soon, so maybe next year I could be the pretty one._

"_Umm…Ashlee?" said a brunette girl that was constantly at her side._

"_What Tiffany? This better be important. You know I don't have time to waste on things that are stupid, like you and your boyfriend problems." Ashlee ordered._

"_Well, I wanted to say that You-Know-You has agreed to You-Know-What" while the second in command said this she seemed to be looking at me. When this had finally registered with Ashlee, she patted the girls head and said she did a good job. Tiffany looked extremely happy with the affection. "Heather, maybe you should get to class." Ashlee waved me off and I obeyed._

_While I was sitting in Algebra, listening to Mr. Haney talking about algebraic equations and how they were important or something stupid like that, a folded piece of paper, with a heart on it, landed on my desk. I looked up to see Geordy Raines smiling at me and gesturing that it was from him. I eagerly opened it up and it read…_

_Dance with me?_

_Yes or No?_

_I quickly circled yes and gave it back. When he saw the answer, he smirked and mouthed "Cool." I can't believe this, I thought to myself, the hottest, coolest, most popular guy in school wants to go to the end of school dance with me! Take that Ashlee and stick it up that table you call a butt! When I got home, I told my mom and she took me shopping, let me get my hair done, and get a mani/pedi! I finally felt like a princess, and now prince charming has to just sweep me off my feet._

_End Flashback_

I continued to remember the bad old times but then I heard someone call my name and I realized I was the only one left on the Dock of Shame. I heard Duncan whisper to Geoff "I guess she knows she will be the first one to go," Geoff snickered at this but I just rolled my eyes. Then I got an idea.

"Hey Geoff! Hey Duncan! Hope you had a great year and good luck to you in the challenge!" I quickly ran to my cabin leaving them confused from my sudden friendliness. I ran into the Gopher cabin, shut the door behind me and closed my eyes mumbling my calming words that Dr. Lynn gave me to use.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in!" hearing spite in Gwen's words.

"Did you hear her talking to herself?! White girl must be going crazy!" LeShawna said with a laugh. All the girls in the gopher cabin cracked up, with the exception of Lindsay. She was sitting on her bed and gestured to the bunk above her. That was nice, she saved me a bed, I thought to myself. "Thanks Lindsay!" I said.

"No problem!" She said happily. I sat my stuff down and started to look for Beth but I couldn't find her, maybe she's in the bathroom…

"ATTENTION CAMPERS!!! MEET ME ON THE BEACH IN FIVE MINUTES!" Chris announced over the megaphone. Great, I thought, I won't be able to talk to Beth before the challenge. Maybe I'll apologize after the campfire ceremony… if I'm still here.

**Regular POV**

"Listen up vict- I mean campers!" Chris shouted to get everybody's attention, "Today's challenge will be called 'A-maze-ing Waters!'"

"Oh how clever," Noah commented.

"I know!" Chris said not picking up on the sarcasm, "You and your teams will try to go through a water maze while picking up 10 flags."

"That sounds easy," Beth said.

"I was hoping you would say that, Beth, because you and your team will be tied together like Cody, Owen, Tyler, and DJ were last season in the special episode. Still sound easy, Beth?" Beth stuck out her tongue in reply. "And there are only 19 flags so you have to steal the other team's flags in order to get ten. So punches, bites, kicks, and any other uses of physical pain can be used in this challenge. And one more thing, the team that loses has to send someone home tonight. So get yourselves tied up, you freaks!"

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Confession Cam:

Owen: My team said that I have to get farting out of my system so… (he lets a big one rip and he smiles shyly).

Bridgette: I feel really bad for the Gophers, I mean would you want to be tied to Owen?

.

Izzy: E-Scope can't wait till the challenge starts! This is just like what my grandpa had to do to escape prison! (then starts talking about Red Lobster and toes)

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Gophers

"Okay guys listen up!" Gwen said. "We need a game plan! Any ideas?"

"What if we have a person in the middle of a big group so it will be harder for the other team to steal our flags," suggested Cody. "Awesome idea, dude!" Owen said while giving him a slap on the back and letting out another fart. "You do realize that it will be harder for us to move, right?" Noah said, looking up from his book. "I think that's an intentional risk that I'm willing to take. So any objections to the plan?" replied the former Goth Girl. When she heard the silence, she then said, "Noah since physical activity isn't your 'thing', you are going to be the person in the middle. Is that okay?" Noah shrugged in response. After some arguing everyone finally agreed that LeShawna, Izzy, Justin, Gwen, and Trent were going to be on the offense trying to get flags and the rest of the team were going to try and protect Noah.

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Bass

"So any suggestions on how we're going to win?" asked the CIT. When she heard crickets chirp, Courtney said, "Why don't we get tied together in a line so we can move faster and get the flags before the other team? Does anyone oppose?" she looked at everyone's blank face and shrugged. She spent the next five minutes putting her team in order from strongest to weakest and then she got some stupid intern to tie them up.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Confession Cam

Courtney: (she's clapping sarcastically) Way to put in a lot input, guys! I'm mean come on! They looked like they were in a trance! If these lazy bums put me up for elimination because I was the 'captain' then they should be shot! (continues to rant)

Katie & Sadie: (looking at the camera with blank faces and drool coming out of their mouth's)

Courtney: (finishes her rant about her 'stupid' team) Well, at least we have Eva who will probably punch someone if they even look at a flag . And we have Duncan who is experienced in stealing things… (looks down and whispers) like my heart…(she looks up and realizes that this is still being recorded)…. This won't be aired right?

Lindsay: We are ssssssoooooo going to win this!

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"Okay everyone ready? On the count of three… One ……..Two …….Three! GO!" Chris shouted. The two teams race to the water and then all you could hear water sloshing and Owen's farts.

A/N: Chapter two! Yay! So what did you think?! Tell me, I'm dying to know!

In Response to the reviews:

logicaltiger: yeah I really hate myself for putting a song in there.

StarReader86: I'm glad someone else does! She makes the story dramatic. Yeah I really like the flashbacks so you can expect to see them!

DarkMantha70: me too. I believe there is good in everybody… except Hitler…

P.S. In the flashback Geordy (pronounced like Jord-y) and Ashlee are real people who are like this super couple at my school (hint hint)


	3. The Outcome of Leisure

Day 1: Part 2: The Outcome of Leisure

Disclaimer: I want to own TDI but I don't

**Regular POV**

Eva had managed to get the first flag but it was quickly taken away, when Izzy had bit her hand. While the muscle woman was howling in pain, Izzy quickly picked the flag up and tossed it back to Noah. Harold was trying to get it back but was harshly pushed back by Heather and Beth. DJ quickly sprinted to the 2nd flag but when he passed it down to Ezekiel, for safe keeping, the home school boy quickly gave it to Lindsay after she had seduced it out of him. This was how the whole challenge followed, the Bass would get to the flag first but the Gophers would some how take it away and keep it to themselves. Once the Gophers had stolen ten of the Bass's flags they made their way towards the shore to the finish line. "The Screaming Gophers win! Killer Bass you are sending someone to Playa De Losers" Chris shouted. Once all the campers had made it to the shore they passed out from running and fighting in the water for so long. "Seriously dudes the challenge wasn't that hard!" Chris said but then someone through a rock at him and he unfortunately ducked and stormed away. Sadly, no one laughed at him.

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Confession Cam

Cody: I've never been so exhausted in my life (he falls over and you hear a disembodied voice) I don't even have enough energy to get up.

Ezekiel: I feel confident that I won't be voted off tonight, aye. I only had one mistake and it was that CIT girl who was in charge.

Duncan: (scowling) I told everyone that if they vote for Princess, then I'll bash their heads in.

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(At the campfire ceremony)

"Well, well, well, I guess old habits; die hard, aye Killer Bass?" Chris smirked and was met with 11 scowls. "Anyway, moving on, as you all know a marshmallow represents life on the isl--."

"We been through this a hundred times pretty boy, just tell us who's going home!" yelled Eva. "Fine! Everyone but Ezekiel come and get your stupid marshmallows. Sorry dude, but you have to go home." concluded Chris. Ezekiel looked thoroughly shocked as he went to the Dock of Shame. Chris pops up as the Killer Bass were making their goodbyes, "I have to admit it but that was really predictable, bra," he said to the camera, "but a lot of questions were left unanswered like why is DJ mean now? What is it with Gwen's new look? And why is Heather nice all of a sudden? Find out all the answers next time on Total…

Drama…

Island!

**Heather's POV**

So apparently that home school kid got voted off tonight but I'm not that concerned about it, I've never spoken a word to him, so what's the point in being upset? So now I'm searching around camp wondering where in the world Beth is and I finally find her in the Screaming Gopher's boy's cabin, of all places, talking to Harold, of all people. "Umm…Beth, may I please have a word with you?" I asked sweetly. Unfortunately for me all the Gopher guys were in there, looking at me.

"Heather, I have no interest in making an alliance with you," she said with a bored expression. "No it's not about that, but I seriously need to talk to you…in private." I look over at Harold, he shrugs and leaves, I think I heard him mutter "Gosh!" under his breath but I chose to ignore it. "Great Heather now you have scared him off! I hope you're happy!" she said in a huff.

"No, I'm not Beth." I said trying to quiet her down.

"Well, what? Do you want you want to embarrass me? I just dare you to try!" All the guys were now had their full attention on us; I could feel the heat rushing up to my face. Oh man, I thought, she's making a scene, quick Heather think on your feet. "Maybe we should talk about this in private," I glanced over to the guys. "Whatever you have to say, can be said in public, Heather," she spat out my name like venom. "FINE! I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry!" I yelled but I continued, "I'm sorry for treating you like a slave. I'm sorry for making fun of you. I'm sorry for underestimating you and I'm sorry that I got you eliminated! There, are YOU happy now Beth? Because I'm not!" I finished with my face streaming with tears but I didn't dare hide my face. I had to show her I was sincere and that I was telling the truth. She seemed a little shocked to see me so vulnerable. "Are you telling me the truth?" she asked. I looked her square in the eye and said, "Yes, I am telling you the truth." Beth sighed and was silent for a while, like she was thinking this over. I got a chance to look around and the guys were still staring at us. I suddenly had this exposed feeling and I looked down and I realized that I was half naked. Geez, I must look like a slut to people, mental note: find some clothes that cover your goodies when you get back to the cabin. "Okay Heather," Beth says finally, "I don't forgive you but I don't hate you. Honestly, I just don't trust you at all, so for us to be friends you'll have to earn my trust." My spirit instantly lifted when she said those words to me. "Why don't we be acquaintances for now?" she finished. "Of course we can! Believe me Beth you will not regret this!" I hugged her and skipped off feeling so happy. I could care less that I left Duncan, DJ, Harold, Geoff, and Tyler gaping at me. I quickly ran back to my cabin and went to bed. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I remember the first time I felt that wonderful feeling…

_Flashback_

"_Hello Heather, how was your week?" Dr. Lynn says to me. "Horrible! All those loser wannabes were pulling on my hair today!" I complained. "I'm sorry Heather maybe you'll feel better after our conversation today. Now last week we talked about how in 8__th__ grade some kids were mean to you, do you think you can tell me why they were so mean to you?" Dr. Lynn questioned._

"_I'd rather not talk about it," I answered. Dr. Lynn sighed and took down some notes, "Heather if you don't talk about things like this, then you can never be totally happy with yourself."_

_"I am happy with myself!" I said defensively but I started to think am I happy with myself? Of course I am! I'm popular! Well, I used to be…no you just learned not to be on reality television again. I continued to battle with myself but then Dr. Lynn says, "Heather I know this is hard for you but you can open up to me."_

_"How do I know for sure that I can trust you?" I asked still skeptical._

_"Well, one: it goes against my ethics and two: you could sue me. Now do you trust me?" she said with a friendly smile. I thought about it some more and decided that if she does use it against me then I could sue her for all she's worth. "Well, if you must know I wasn't the most…" I couldn't tell her my deepest, darkest secret. "Heather the quicker you say it the better you will feel," the therapist encouraged. "I was…ugly and fat when I was younger," I felt weird when I said this and it felt really good to confide in someone. I could get used to this therapy thing…_

_End Flashback_

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! My alarm was the most annoying thing on the earth. I looked around and no one else was up yet, so I decided to get to the showers first. I stepped in the shower and enjoyed having the small pleasure of hot water pound into my back. Getting ready was quicker now that my hair was shorter. I didn't have to straighten it for as long of a time and I started to wear less makeup. Once I was finished I grabbed a towel and made a mad dash towards my cabin. I put on a bra and a pair of undies and stared at my clothes. They all seemed so skimpy and unappealing, but I couldn't wear what I usually wore. I settled on a maroon V-neck shirt and a pair of the same shorts that I usually wear. I had to admit, I looked way better with some coverage on my body. Everybody was starting to wake up and so I started to unpack some of my things. "I don't know why she's unpacking, she'll be the first one to go," Gwen said to LeShawna. I chose to ignore it; I didn't want to give them another reason to hate me.

I was making my way to breakfast, when I heard a deep laugh coming from the woods so I decided to investigate who it was. It took a few minutes but I came to a small clearing in the forest with no cameras, that's where I saw DJ sitting on a log playing with a rabbit that looked an awful lot like Bunny. "DJ?" I spoke. His head snapped so fast I thought he was going to break his neck. "Heather, what are you doing here!" he looked really pissed off. "I j-just wanted to see who was laughing, sorry."

"Listen, you tell anybody what you saw and I'll make sure to make your life a living hell," he said with a glare in his eyes. I was seriously scared, but I wanted to know why he was lying to all of us. "Just one thing, why are you hiding Bunny?" I inquired. He stepped back and looked at, I guess he wad debating if I was trustworthy or not. "Fine, if I tell you, you promise not to tell anybody?" I was shocked, why would he trust me after just a day! Maybe that group apology thing worked after all. "Sure," I said with an encouraging smile. He sighed and continued, "Well, you see…," he looked like he was tying to find the right words, "After TDI, when I went back to school… the kids would say that I was an animal loving wuss and the taunting got worse, even the teachers and coaches were in on it too." I looked at him, that was the same thing I experienced, "Go on," I urged. He sighed and continued, "So I decided to change my attitude, I told everybody that I got rid of Bunny and I started to become meaner and meaner each day. Once I had become a total jackass, people were giving me respect and I liked it." He finished and was looking for my reaction. I quickly gathered my thoughts and said, "So what you're saying is that you're trying to please people who don't give a crap about you or your feelings?" I said with a cocked eyebrow. He looked down and remained speechless. "I'll leave you alone now," I skipped out of the woods leaving him behind with his thoughts.

When I finally arrived to the mess hall, I saw Lindsay and Beth sitting away from the team, so I decided to join them. We exchanged greetings and they said breakfast wasn't ready yet. We started to make small talk but I could hear the camper's gossip. "Yeah, she went to the guys cabin and was apologizing to Beth,"

"I wouldn't believe her at all."

"I hope Beth doesn't get hurt by that mega bitch."

I was frowning at the comments, why should they be so concerned about what happened. Lindsay heard all of this too and gave me and encouraging look. I was fine as long as I had one true friend. Justin came and sat with us claiming that everyone else was just to annoying or weird and that we seemed the most human. Beth was giggling like a school girl. "Time to get the food you delinquents!" shouted Chef from the kitchen. DJ had come in looking apprehensively at me before going to sit down at the Gopher table.

Chris said that we had 3 days with no challenges and every body was in a good mood. "You want to go outside and suntan?" Lindsay asked me once everyone had choked down breakfast. "Sure, Beth, Justin would you like to join us?" I asked. "No, you girls have some fun with out me. I'll read a book or something," Justin said but I knew he was going to stare at himself in a mirror. Beth said she wanted to hang out with LeShawna.

Lindsay and I went to the cabins and changed into our swimsuits. When we got outside it seemed like everybody just wanted to relax and enjoy the wonderful weather. I saw Bridgette trying to catch some waves and there were some people who had gotten a volleyball game together. I spotted a good spot for lying out and it was near the volleyball game so we quickly made our way over there.

"I think I'm going to enjoy these next few days," the blonde girl said while reading a magazine. "I think we all will!" We laughed and then we got into this major discussion of who was the cutest guy on the island. I voted Justin but she thought Tyler was hot, which made sense since they were a couple. We eventually started to pay attention to the game, Eva was dominating the game while Tyler started to show off but was failing miserably. I thought that this scene was very funny but I guess I was wrong because everybody seemed mad. I rolled my eyes, people could be so dramatic.

The next few days were incredible although it irked me that DJ hadn't talked to me yet. But Justin was a nice male companion and Beth seemed to be warming up to me. The third and final day was a disaster though. It was like any other lunch on the island; we were having what looked like PB& J and red punch. Everyone was talking and laughing and enjoying the last hours of bliss. Justin was telling us this story about his mother. Then he accidentally knocked over his glass of red punch. I was sitting beside him and the punch spilled all over my left arm. I quickly snatched the glass up and stared at my arm, looking at the red punch that drenched my arm while it was shaking with rage. I could hear Justin apologizing and see Lindsay trying to clean up the mess but when I looked up I saw Geordy and Ashlee laughing at me. Those jackasses shouldn't be laughing at me! I should be laughing at them! I left the table and stopped at the door, glass still in hand. I couldn't turn the handle, I couldn't move at all, I hated them. I still heard them in my head, laughing at me. I turned around and through the glass at the opposite wall. Everyone just sat, shocked at my sudden outburst. I continued to look at the wall and collapsed to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably. Lindsay got up and started to hug me, trying to calm me down but the memory was still burning through my mind…

A/N: So what happened?! We all want to know!!!! sorry for the short chapter! Anyway what will happen with DJ and Heather? Is Courtney going to get back together with Duncan? Will Heather tell us what happened? Find out next time on F&F!!!!!!


	4. The Start of Something New?

Start of something new? Day Five: Part one

_Flashback_

_Geordy picked me up at 6:45 and he gave me a blue corsage He is so sweet! Tonight is going to be the best night of my life. My mom took pictures of us until I was thoroughly embarrassed with her; I had to give her one of my rare death looks. Then we got into the car his mom was waiting in. He held the door open for me and was so polite._

_"You look cute," he said with a smile that made my heart melt. "So do you," I managed to mumble out._

_Once we got into the dance, I looked around the gym and all the girls stood with their ugly dress, mouths open looking like idiots, jealous of me and my date. My smile couldn't grow any bigger, as my prince lead me onto the dance floor, this is what I wanted, it thought. The song was slow and he was a good dancer. I could see Ashlee and Tiffany staring at me, probably jealous, I thought. The song had ended and he asked if we could break for awhile and get something to drink. He went off somewhere saying he needed to talk to some friends. He's so amazing, I thought, and I'm going to be sssssoooooo popular after this dance!_

_End Flashback_

"Urmm…" I mumbled. I was on the cold, dirty floor of the mess hall and I guess I had been asleep. I could hear voices around me.

"Will she be okay?" said a worried voice, it was probably Lindsay talking. "I think so," said a deep, dreamy voice, definitely Justin's, "she didn't hit her head or anything. They say she was having a mental breakdown." I opened my eyes, and I could see Justin, Lindsay, Beth, Courtney, Duncan, Owen, and DJ standing around me. "Umm…Hello?" I said trying to get up but Courtney quickly pushed me back down.

"Heather, you need your rest!" Courtney said in a commanding voice. Suddenly Owen picked me up and hugged me so I couldn't breathe. He started sobbing, saying, "Oh Heather! I thought you were dying! Don't die on me!" he was wailing uncontrollable now and I was a little shocked. Why was he so concerned about me when I had barely spoken a word to him this season? And I was so mean to him last year. "Owen! She needs her rest! Dr. Lynn said she needed to be well rested!" Courtney shrieked. "Dr. Lynn is here?" I questioned, a little worried if they knew she was my therapist. "Yeah, do you know her?" the CIT questioned. "No!" I added a bit too quickly. Courtney lowered her eyes but just gave me a glass of water. "You need to drink this," she insisted. I gulped it down, I didn't realize how thirsty I was. It felt like I hadn't had water in years. I suddenly got very confused, I asked, "Umm…don't mean to be rude but why are you all here?"

"Well, I was helping take care of you because of my CIT skills, Duncan didn't want me to be alone with you, Lindsay said her, Justin, and Beth were your best friends here, Owen wouldn't stop crying, and DJ said he had to talk to you and that it couldn't wait," she finished with a sigh and went to go get me another glass of water. "How long was I asleep?" I asked.

"Nine hours," Beth said, "that doctor lady said it was common for people to pass out after a mental breakdown." **(A/N: ok I'm sorry if this is medically incorrect but this is my story and I can do whatever I want! Muahahaha!) **She was looking at me uneasily, like I might go crazy again. I wonder what the other campers are thinking, I bet LeShawna and Gwen will never let me live this down. The countless taunts I hear them saying to me inside my head, wait are those inner voices? Great, I thought, I think I'm going insane. Then I see Duncan eyeing me suspiciously. "What?" I finally asked. "Everything is too weird for me but I'm not leaving Princess with someone who is crazy and will chop her to bits," he whispered with a glare. Against my own will, I started to cry, I really had to start controlling my emotions or no one will take me seriously. Why was he being so mean? I didn't mean to go crazy! DJ looked at me then at Duncan, and picked the delinquent up by his shirt and said, "What did you say to Heather?!" Duncan looked a little shocked by DJ's protectiveness over me, he then added coolly, "Nothing man, just make sure old crazy over here," he gestured to me, "doesn't go on a physco rampage and kills us in our sleep." He quickly sprinted to the door, not wanting to feel the wrath of DJ.

"Stupid punk," he grumbled. That was weird, I didn't know he liked me that much. By this time, Courtney had come back and looked a little hurt that Duncan left without saying goodbye. I rolled my eyes, she has some serious love problems, I thought. Maybe I should tell her to grow a pair and admit her true feelings…but that would be mean, I said sarcastically in my head. Being nice sucks, since I can't tell anybody the truth.

"So can I go to bed now?" I asked my babysitter. "No you can't, Dr. Lynn said for me to take you to her tent as soon as you awoke. Which we are late for!" She said realizing she had made a mistake. Justin and Courtney escorted me to Dr. Lynn's tent. It was big and yellow and reminded me of a circus. Dr. Lynn came out and ushered the two escorts away. She smiled and invited me in.

"Don't worry Heather, I told Mr. McClean that if he used the footage of earlier today in the show that he would be sued for all he's worth and none of the campers suspect that you see me on a regular basis, and that I am just here for medical reasons," she said with a look of assurance. I sighed, but I had honestly not been thinking about those things, although I should have. "So is this a session or are you going to take me to a loony bin?" I asked with a smile. "No it wasn't as bad as you're thinking. You just simply lost control of your emotions for a little while, now what happened before you through the glass at the wall?"

"Well, Justin was talking and then he spilled some red punch on me," I said. Dr. Lynn looked momentarily confused until she remembered our previous sessions. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Sure…" Then I started spilling my feelings and all those important things.

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45 minutes later I left Dr. Lynn's tent, and I was mentally exhausted. All I wanted to do was crawl in my bed and forget this whole day. As I was walking back to my cabin when someone grabbed me and pulled me behind a tree. I screamed bloody murder but someone put their hand over my mouth. "Ssshhh! Do you to wake the whole camp?" The deep voice belonged to DJ. I sighed with relief and asked "What do you want? I'm tired and I want to go to bed, so hurry up."

"You know what you said to me on the second day? Well I was thinking about it and… you were right."

"Oh really?" I cocked an eyebrow, he looked so cute admitting I was right.

"Yeah, really," he took a step towards me.

"So are you going to tell the others about Bunny?" I took a step towards him, we were really close at this point, our faces were just inches apart.

"Yeah, tomorrow after the challenge."

"That's really good bec—" I was cut off, because I found DJ's lips against mine. Whoa, he's a good kisser but this is moving way to fast. Although it doesn't hurt just to make out with him but then I'm using him. I don't want to be mean but I don't want to stop kissing him. Ugh! I'm so confused and it's only the fourth day!

I pulled away, he looked a little embarassed. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"Don't be,"

"So…umm…"

"Listen, DJ, I'm not looking for a relationship right now, I mean I just had a mental breakdown for God's sake! I'm still trying to figure myself out. I'm sorry" I felt kind of guilty, his face looked so heartbroken. I've breaked hearts before but this one hurts the most. "I'm sorry for kissing you," he walked away and punched a tree. Okay that was really dramatic.

**Regular POV**

"Hello! Chris McClean here! Last time on TDI the Killer Bass and the Screaming Gophers competed in a water race for ten flags. Let's just say, the Bass made a repeat of last season and voted off Ezekiel. Haha, he looked so shocked! Anyways, the campers had a few days off and they caused some drama! Heather, the head drama queen, apologized to Beth and made-out with DJ but she dumped him! Tsk tsk Heather, you really shouldn't cause a scene. Of course there was some making out with other couples, but Courtney gave Duncan no action! What will happen on another installment of TOTAL…DRAMA…ISLAND!

(Theme music)

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Confession Cam**

Heather: (banging head against wall) It is going to be so awkward with DJ now. I still want to be friends but he just had to kiss me! GAHH!

Eva: I will not be eliminated this week! I will win this!!!

Trent: Ok Gwen has her same personality and that's great but guys are always looking at her, it makes me so mad! I WANT GOTH GWEN BACK!! (starts crying like a baby)

Owen: WOOOOOHH! YEAH TDI SEASON TWO IS AWESOME!!!!

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"All campers report to the theater after breakfast!" Chris said over the megaphone. Profanities and name calling could be heard throughout the cabins. Once everyone got dressed and ate the slop that Chef prepared, they headed to where the theatre was and saw the sadistic host standing in front of 21 pots with each of their own faces on it. "Today campers we will be playing a little game of archery and trivia.  
"Finally, something that takes an actual brain,"

"Shut up Noah! This is _my_ camera time. Anyway this time it's an individual challenge, where there will be no teams at all and only one person gets invincibility. Each camper will be asked a question about a fellow camper and if they answer correct, they get to try and knock out one of the other campers by shooting an arrow with a rock at the end trying to break the pots. The last camper standing will win invincibility. We will draw straws to see who goes first."

Confession Cam

Heather: I'm seriously worried because I know I still have some enemies here but luckily none of them are physically threatening…I think.

Gwen: Heather is going down and voted off. It's almost too easy!

Harold: I'm really glad I have good skills. I'm thinking about getting Duncan first. What an IDIOT!

"First up is…Cody! Ok who has 51 different nail polishes?" Chris asked. Noah looked really pissed since these weren't questions he actually knew the answer to.

"Definitely, Lindsay!" Cody said confidently.

"Ohh, sorry bro, its Gwen," everyone looked at Gwen, she just shrugged like it was no big deal. "Next is, Justin! Who has the highest IQ?" Justin held up a picture of Izzy. "Correct!"

"WHAT?!" Noah shouted. "THERE IS NO WAY THAT THE PHYSCO HAS A HIGHER IQ, THAN ME!" He was fuming, almost worse than Eva. Geoff whispered to Bridgette, "How would he know that?"

"Remember, they dated for awhile"

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that." Justin then took a shot at Sadie's pot and broke it in two. "Sorry Sadie, but you have been knocked out." Chris said, Sadie was sobbing into Katie's arms while she glared at Justin. "I will get revenge for you Sadie don't worry," the BFFFL said. Katie went up to Chris, with a determined look on her face. "Ok Katie, how many campers have more than one piercing?" Katie was counting on her fingers, and looked worried that she would get the answer wrong. "Ummm…there's Duncan, Gwen, Lindsay, Heather, Me, and Sadie, so there's 6?" she was shaking nervously. "Correct! Good Job!" Katie quickly grabbed the bow and arrow and took out Justin's pot. "Take that, Justin!" Katie skipped to Sadie and they both squealed in victory. Courtney was next and walked up to Chris but Duncan smacked her butt so she kicked him in the place that the sun doesn't shine. "Haha, dude, bad idea! Anyway, Courtney, who is the most popular couple here?"

"Oh that's easy! Gwen and Trent!"

"Sorry but it's you and Duncan."

"WHAT?! WE'RE NOT EVEN GOING OUT! I'M GOING OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE!" Courtney looked so mad but Duncan was smiling like an idiot. Courtney stomped back to her spot still majorly pissed. Chris winked at the camera and continued. It eventually came down to five players remaining, Noah, Heather, Harold, Geoff, and Beth, it was Noah's turn. "Ok Noah, who has a secret collection of My Little Ponies?"

"What kind of question is that?" the know-it-all sneered.

"Just answer the question!"

"Umm…I don't know…Beth?"

"Close but its Owen," Chris smirked.

"How is that close?"

"Go sit down!" Chris said. Then Gwen asked, "Owen, why do you have a My Little Pony collection?"

"Because they're pretty!" Owen said. Everyone looked a little weirded out except for Izzy, she was turned on.

"Moving on, Harold! It's your turn, bro!"

"Bring it on!"

"Okay whose favorite color is purple?"

"Ummm…wait! I know this Eva!"

"Dude! That's correct!"

"Sweet!" he then shot his arrow at Geoff's pot and it shattered. "How did you know that?" Eva asked him. "You mentioned it once," Harold shrugged. Eva looked down and you could swear that she was smiling. "Sorry Geoff, but you're out!" Chris said. Geoff high-fived the rest of the players and went over to Bridgette. "Okay Beth, it's your turn! Who made out last night that is not a couple?" he was smirking proudly at his own evilness. Heather and DJ looked like they were going to pounce on the host and beat him to a pulp. "Heather, I'm so sorry but it was Heather and DJ," Beth looked apologetically at Heather who just merely shrugged. Everyone looked thoroughly shocked, hoping it wasn't true. "Correct! Beth grab your arrow!

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Confession Cam

Geoff: (shaking his head in disapproval) No way man! DJ would never make out with that crazy bitch.

Heather: Chris you better sleep with one eye open! You will die!!!

DJ: (face in hands) I'm so embarrassed but I don't regret what I did. I just wish Heather would go out with me.

Justin: Why didn't Heather tell me she kissed DJ? I'm kind of jealous…I think.

All the campers(except Lindsay and Beth): EEWWWWW!!!!! DJ WHAT WERE YOU THINKING??????!!!

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Note de Author: hehehehehe, DJxHeather!!! I'm kinda getting sick of this story…or maybe its writer's block…who knows! thanks for the reviews and such! You can probably guess what happened to young Heather but you'll have to wait for the real answer. Happy New Year's!!! lookin' fine in oh nine!!!!


	5. AN

Author's Note

Sorry if I haven't updated a lot, it's just that I'm having a bit of trouble with the challenge and voting part of the story. I have the Heather POV part but I need help!!

PM me if you can help.

--kinsey


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